Why do we often feel cut off when speaking to the people closest to us family members, friends, or colleagues? What is it that keeps so many of us from really listening? Michael P. Nichols answers these questions and more in this thoughtful, witty, and helpful look at the reasons people don't hear one another. His book, a guide to the secrets of listening and being listened to, is filled with vivid examples that clearly demonstrate easy-to-learn techniques for becoming a better listener. He also illustrates how empathic listening enables us to break through misunderstandings and conflict and to transform our personal and professional relationships.

Customer Rating:
Summary: Excellent book
Comment: This was an excellent book, much better than I imagined. It helped me better understand how to listen, and how to communicate. I am an engineer and this was my first exposure to this type of book. If you are having trouble commuicating with certain people, fighting with your significant other or having trouble connecting with your children, this book will not dissapoint with valuable insights.

---

Customer Rating:
Summary: Highly Recommended!
Comment: After reading the title of Michael Nichols's book The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships, I immediately flipped to page one, and my interest was captured by its introduction. I knew I had to buy it, and I'm very glad I did. Nichols brilliantly covers a variety of interesting points concerning listening issues in a variety of relationships. He stresses the important points of effective listening, which are being attentive, appreciative, and affirmative. In order to hear the other individual out, people must suspend their own needs (memory, desire, and judgment) and attentively listen. As I read through this book, I pinpointed certain chapters that I could relate to, and others I could definitely use as reference in the future. Nichols gives examples through the first-hand scenarios he has observed; some of these he's worked with for twenty years as a psychoanalyst and family therapist. His accounts not only helped me discover my listening problems within my everyday situations, but also helped me acknowledge how detrimental they were to the situations.

Essentially, this is the book for all readers. Everyone can benefit from the helpful advice provided in this book and apply it to their everyday lives. Through good listening, we can learn from others, help others, and receive the same effective listening if applied in the right way. This book, no doubt, will change the way you perceive listening. I definitely recommend this book. It is worth every penny!

---

Customer Rating:
Summary: The Lost Art of Listening
Comment: This is one of the best books I have ever read on the dynamics of relationships. I felt so strongly about this book that I bought each of my four children a copy for Valentinie's day. It helped me reflect on past dynamics that worked and that didn't and also helps me to reflect about current relationships. Excellant.

---

Customer Rating:
Summary: learn to listen
Comment: I found this book to be excellent. I have read it thru several times and pick up something new each time. There are few books I have found to be helpful on this subject--one I should mention is Bolton's PEOPLE SKILLS--and this is at the top. In a sense, listening is a moral decision; that is, deciding to listen with an open mind and no agenda is a deeply respectful and loving act. It is also difficult; it takes an effort. Making that effort is a decision to treat the speaker as a valued person; not a sales "target", not some stereotype (liberal, conservative, religious nut, redneck, academic, etc.). Nichols is honest about the difficulty of listening well, relating anecdotes in which his lack of listening was painfully evident. The only other helpful guide I've found was a set of cassette tapes called "How to Listen Powerfully", which had very practical exercises--such as listening to two radio stations and practising switching attention between the two. After practising that I found that I could focus on one person at a noisy family get-together and not be distracted by other conversations. This is a very helpful book for anyone sincerely interested in improving their listening skill.

---

Customer Rating:
Summary: Hard Work but worth the effort
Comment: Listening is a learned ability just like reading.

Some books are easy to read but lack any real contents.
People are the same. Some people are easy to listen to but
lack any real content. Learning to listen to difficult
people is worth the effort.

I am reading this book for the third time. I didn't get
much from it the first time.

---